Final Monday

I can't make myself study for Monday's final.

It is scheduled for Monday between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m., but I hit the wall two weeks ago.

Yesterday I tried to spend some time going over study aids and practice tests. Pretty futile. I have learned more algebra than I thought I could, but I've also forgotten a lot already. I suppose it could come back if I put in the time. But my mind and my motivation seem to have moved on already.

On Wednesday, Prof. Reyes handed out individual stats letting students know where they are in terms of points. Before the final, I'm teetering between a C and a D. If I do well on the final I get a C. If I do poorly (likely) I'll get a D.

Before a student can be admitted to the School of Journalism they must pass this math course or a similar one with a B or better. Friday night at a School awards ceremony I was given the incredible honor of being named "Teacher of the Year" for our J-school. I was (am) grateful and honored and somewhat embarrassed, but still couldn't help but think for a moment how curious it is that I get to be an award winning professor in the School but wouldn't be accepted into the program as a sophomore.

The math test is multiple choice. I should have absorbed enough to be able to get through at least part of the test by reverse engineering it. We'll see.

I feel for the kids who have to pass this course. There is a lot to learn and if they were good at it they wouldn't be in this class in the first place. They would have had this as sophomores or juniors in high school. At the same time, if they are willing to take the time, there isn't much of an excuse not to pass. Between the study guides and the in-class handouts, the whole final is there. And, I am convinced that it's not a matter of brains, it's a matter of reps. If a student puts in the time, he or she can pass this class with an A or a B. But, as I'm demonstrating myself, putting in the time is easier said than done. There is almost always something better to do than solve math problems for practice.

For example, I rode my bike to the top of Mt. Lemmon with about 2oo other crazies on Friday. Way better than sitting at my dining room table figuring out functions.

My own journalism students don't get it about how much work it takes to do anything really well. But I imagine they all have things they'd rather be doing also. I hope my assignments for them are things they think are worth their time. Last night I saw Ira Glass at the UA Centennial Hall. One of the things he spoke about was how incredible difficult it was to find people to feature on This American Life. The producers might talk to 50 people and begin working on stories and interviews with 10 or more and complete all the work on five just to come up with the two or three that are actually broadcast. And, if you don't put in the time, it just won't be all that good.

So this phase of my math adventure is about to end and the results, at least measurable results, won't be that good. And I wonder whether that is OK.

My friend Keith (who does just about everything well) was being a good friend and feeling bad for me for my poor performance. For him, to do something (anything!) less than excellent is to fail. He was concerned that I might be depressed or unhappy as a result of probably getting a D in algebra. I don't know whether he believed me when I told him that I was fine with it. I enjoyed the ride and it was worth it and the grade I received or even the level of excellence I attained, really didn't matter to me. The process was worth it and I'm glad I did it. And even if I fail math, they're not going to take away my Ph.D. or fire me from my teaching job and Gail and Seth will still love me.

At the same time, Keith did make me think about whether I should be more concerned about doing well for the sake of doing well. My yoga teacher quoted a teaching that said, "How you do anything is how you do everything." I don't think I believe that, but it makes me think anyway.

Keith didn't ride to the top of Mt. Lemmon on Friday, partly because he didn't believe he was in shape or the right frame of mind to do well. I did ride to the top and had a great experience even though I was one of the last guys up the mountain and one of the last guys down.

Anyway, the algebra final is Monday and I've enjoyed the ride.

I'll report back.